Having a German partner and having lived here for several months now, I thought I would opine on the general character of the people whom populate this land, and some common observations. The following is of course the personal views of a Kiwi living in predominately Hamburg and by no means sums all of the Volk in the most populated nation and economic powerhouse of Europe. No offense is intended what so ever.
I personally often describe Germans as, the warmest, coldest people you will ever met. In that I mean, if you operate within societal norms and do not stray off the rails, be too creative, or step out of ‘one’s place’, they can be wonderful, accommodating, predictable and reliable, hardworking and punctual people. Handshakes, opportunities, meals, beers, gifts and hugs a plenty will flow in your general direction. Germans love things to be in order. Perhaps the best example of this illustration of the desire for order is that is evident in both social and professional events which are graced with sayings around process such as:
A) if you do not have it in your head, you will have to have it in your legs
B) it is good to trust but better to control
C) if you do not have any work, then you will make some
D) the women can do it for herself (male readers you can use this one to great effect if timed well)
These saying when combined with a preference to let you know clearly if they do not like something.
are often delivered with some dry humor that can really be quite entertaining.
Order and process are also evident in the following common everyday phrases: alles klar (all is clear), verstanden (understood), alles in ordnung (all is in order). When ones sits to eat, it is polite to say, guten appetite (or good appetite which does not translate well at all) when one sneezes, gesundheit, or good health. Phrases like unmoglich (un or not-possible), komisch (out of the ordinary, strange) and a sarcastic alles klar, to let your peers know that you disprove of the current situation or that people are steeping out of their place.
While all this order can be great. It can also lead to excessive disappointment, when a plan does not work, or someone is late. A lack of spontaneity, creativity and lateral thinking. Repression of initiative or a sprit of make do. An over emphasis on expertise. A stratified and unequal education system and a reasonably evident class structure. I think these are a typical observations of a Kiwi living in North Germany. I am sure Germans think that Kiwis naïve and unorganized etc.
Some other mannerisms to use in less than perfect social situations include: when one is in your way in the street, you stop, expressionless and wait for them to move (eye contact optional) When one in your way in the car you honk, and resort to hand gestures post haste. In the very few conflicts of interest, that I have seen between Germans, they often seem to quickly result to what I perceive as a borderline aggressive stance, without first trying to resolve things in calmer fashion. Quick to the sword so to speak with no carrot and a lot of stick.
Finally some topics to avoid in polite conversation include
– former German lands, before both world wars (particularly East Prussia which is in Poland now)
– Turkish Germans, and there integration or lack there of.
– the Euro currency
– the cost of reunification with East Germany
– complements on how good their English is
– The World Wars
So there we have it. Steer clear of these topics, remember you manners and your German place, get your order on and you too can have a wonderful time.
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